Age dependent rites of passage are few and far between. At age 16 you can drive a car, when you turn 18 you can vote and when you turn 21 you can legally buy a beer. That’s all well and good but what’s next? Waiting to turn 65 so you can draw Social Security seems like an eternity at that point and doesn’t really sound all that exciting anyway. Not to worry, since 1971 in Louisville’s Schnitzelburg neighborhood, there’s an annual contest that requires each contestant to be at least 45 years old. Just outside of Hauck’s Handy Store on the last Monday in July, “The World Championship Dainty Contest” is held on the side street with faded hand-painted markers to track the distant of the Dainty, double-decker orange snow fence along each side to protect the onlookers and at the center of it all lay a whittled broomstick transformed into a 3 foot long “bat” and a 5 inch wooden widget known as the “Dainty.” The name of the game is to tap the Dainty with the bat, hopefully lifting the Dainty off the ground high enough for you to take a swing at it. The contestant whose Dainty flies the furthest and stays in bounds wins the trophy and the neighborhood bragging rights/eternal renown. The person who hits the Dainty the shortest distance wins a customary basket of lemons.

The man who revived this game traditionally played by German immigrants is Mr. George Hauck of Hauck’s Handy Store Fame making it an official event in 1971 and the tradition has lived on since. The Dainty Contest does not begin until Mr. Hauck does his quality check and makes the opening announcement from his patriotically decorated Hoveround scooter. Sadly, Mr. Hauck passed after his 100th birthday but both his legacy and the Dainty Contest live on. His handy store has been transformed by some enterprising youngsters into a restaurant/bar and the marketing and promotions of this elder’s event has been taken over by some young creatives who have given it a fresh brand as well as fresh energy.

In spite of the changing of the guards, the charming traditions continue including the “Dainty Meal Deal” which last I checked was $1.50 for a bologna sandwich, bag of chips and a pickle (+ your choice of condiment packet: mustard or mayo.) The beneficiaries of the event are still the Little Sisters of the Poor who are always decked out in full dress on those hot and humid Kentucky July Mondays sitting front row right behind that snow fence. I’m pretty sure I’ve witnessed some of them enjoying a can of cheap beer to cool off and in those long robes, who can blame them?

So if the age requirement of 45, the basket of lemons “booby prize,” the bologna sandwiches and the Little Sisters sneaking beers isn’t charming enough, there’s more. At 5:00pm is the “Opening Ceremonies” complete with a prayer and, of course, the National Anthem. Then at 5:15 is “Local Dignitaries” round where dignitaries like local weathermen, business owners, aldermen, the mayor, politicians and those politician-adjacent nab their time in the Dainty limelight before the “regular folk” play at 5:30 while a German Polka Band fires up along the sidelines.

Like most good things in life, the Dainty Contest is free and happens rain or shine the last Monday every July just off of Goss Avenue on the honorarily named George Hauck Way. The 52nd Annual kicks off this week July 25th, 2022. Get there early to grab a good spot and enjoy those bologna sandwiches. I highly recommend the mustard packet option because, as everyone already knows, mayonnaise is disgusting. Also, no practicing hitting a Dainty at home. According to tradition, the first time you hit a Dainty should be after you turn 45 at the Dainty Contest. Anyone violating this rule can and will be haunted by the ghost of Mr. Hauck.